grammasrunamuck

Posts Tagged ‘weight loss

weighed in today  down 3 lbs.

Son asks so” mom when are you going to have the gastric bypass surgery. I do not want to have to see you on the floor and not be able to get up again. I have lost 3 l bs of water  he says . no big deal…its good but everyone loses weight like that.  ”

I am sad now tearfully that my son thinking I will die, but I am not sure on the surgery at all.  It is invasive. It will require the healing process, etc and the same willpower used in diet.  I believe I can do it myself. I know I can, I really do.

I have been through so much pain and hurt I do not want to have more. I just want to do something happy for a change.

I have not had a vacation in 30 yrs or more.  I need to feel like a normal woman, be able to do the things I want ,when I want.

I heard my sons concern, and yet he kids about it , and I know over the last few days my body is not feeling that surgery is right, even though the surgeon at Ellis Bariatric Medicine, thinks it will be successful.

I have to decide soon.  Or not. I have to and want to get thin, be attractive to men.

Ha men. Now that is another story. Been hurt before, and may never be trusting again.   Who knows.   The truth is I am young and want to wear a sexy bathing suit, feel good about me.

I have been walking more in the stores when I go.  Slowly but surely.  I am very upset with me.

I am just wondering if the cpap machine will change any thing .

So for today for now I will see how it goes.

Love you all,

grammasrunamuck  Patti

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Hi friends, have not blogged in a while and I have missed it.

My friend Holly  has been telling me to start writing again, I guess she is right.   It feels great to write about my day, reminds me of what I am responsible to me for.

I have learned that by shutting myself down,or off it  diminishes me when I do not stretch my wings,and mind.

The truth is I am 407 lbs  down over the months and now am deciding I need to reevaluate my attitudes.

Some of them are positive other not very positive.  When it comes to defending my friends, our nation, and family  that is Positive with a capital P.   When it comes to myself, I pay little attention to what I want or need.

Now after seeing a bariatric surgeon at  Ellis Hospital,I am again unsure about the surgery.  The surgeon and the practice are amazing, kind and loving.  As for having the surgery the dr suggested it is important for me to have it. I know the hazards and think if dire necessity pervades the one I would choose is the sleeve.

I have been very lax with everything and still lost 8lbs .

So today I started to do what is good for me.

I hope you all will be beside me as I try.

grammasrunamuck,

patti

making some changes in my diet added a spirulina,protein shake  110 cal 14 g carb  with milk  190 cals. had it at lunch with egg, some meat  wanted to see if yesterday’s addition continues to make my spastic colon feel better.

Well  same as yesterday the change is making me feel lots better more energy, no more pain.  Have increased fluid intake too. After I had the shake I could feel the change. It has fiber in it too, of course. Stevia in it dried blueberries high in antioxidants.  Not as good as an icecream but I can get used to using it.

I called my friend darlene, and she giggled when I told her I feel better.

She suspects I have gut disbyosis, or gut leak  leaky gut something like that.  I told her I feel the difference in not just no pain but in the breaths too . like eating a peppermint pattie.  lol   with blueberries …hahah

Today I spoke to Kristen Hinze from Fb what a pleasure. Last Night it was fb pal Holly Naim.  I am so blessed with good friends.

I shared with Kristen that I did not feel comfy speaking on her page anymore since one of the stalking queens followed me there.

She had noticed the person and her negativity too.  I told her I would in box her and still be her friend no matter what.   Kristen is a wonderful gal, so like Ruth Rowe, Rev Penny and Mary Law to throw a few of my pals in the mix.

I love my fb friends like they are family. Some may say that I get too attached, but thats good. God has blessed me with wonderful friends. I may not have physically been in their presence, but they are in my heart.

I love hearing how well they are doing. Clarissa ,Laura,Jerry,Peter,Paul, Heather, each adds so much to my life.  My pal Sarah in England needs prayers for healing.  Sarah Wilkinson , you are a love.Dolores Mader a dear friend, needs prayers for healing from Liver cancer.Maureen Cumby and Alan Edwards also need prayers for health.  Donna Malley B,and Kristen Hinze need them as well.   So pray for each one and each other please.

I hope you each get to know each other and meet  jon pearlstone  aka  eetfit@gmail.com     Eet Metabolic memory is my weight loss buddy, he has a blog here too. Met him on FB.

So many wonderful people on a weight loss journey, Nat,Shannah, Chauna,Kristin,Kristen h,Virginia Curtis, Christine Casanova, Terrea,lindy,and so many more  to make a few known to you all are amazing friends.

Make sure you tell those you love that you love them.

Let me know what you are doing to make you feel good,feel special.

I love you

grammasrunamuck

Change begets change.Much like leaves falling softly from the trees in fall ,just floating down mysteriously creating a carpet on the earth. The carpet prepares the ground and plants to survive the cold winter and snow. It magically nurtures and nourishes the earth, allowing the glorious flowers to make their awakening in spring after the harsh winter has gone. It creates a symphony of color in autumn, a white and frosty sparkling blanket over creation ,evolving into the effervescent explosion of color of spring and blooms of summer.

Our lives are full of change. We meet new people, grow and change. We all change ,we grow and change . It is an evolution in our personal lives, careers,and our spirits.

I have to admit my weight loss journey , or experience has changed me.  I have learned about my own body, learned that I am important. I have learned that how others see me is not necessarily the right view of me. It has become unceasingly apparent to me that I am more than this body which is changing.

I  am a woman with intellect, character ,sense of humor and great faith.  I did not get to be the woman I am by being alone. I learn from each of those I come in contact with.

Some have taught me that no matter how cruel they are, I am still a good person. Some have taught me that I can succeed at helping others, that my instincts are really good when it comes to knowing what to do in an emergency. Many have taught me that the love I give I get back ten fold.

In fact, so many of you have changed the way I look at myself.  As a kid I was told be quiet, did I no…  As a child I was taught that children should be seen and not heard, that they should never talk back, that children are the property of the parent in some respect.  That was garbage.  I always would tell people what was on my heart.

A funny thing kids will tell you the truth, of course unless they think they will be punished for it.   I was with my parents at a food store   A&P  one day when I was little.  It was in Middle Village NY. I was 3 or so.   I looked at the cashier who was making small talk with mom and dad.  She asked me how I was , my reply “My daddy gets drunk”  .  The lady in her smock  had a funny look on her face  did not know what to say. Mom wanted to crawl in a hole, dad embarassed laughed.

For some reason I have always been like this. It took a lot of cautioning me not to do that again, to learn to keep secrets.   That was a big change in me.   Not the best change but a change. It is never good to hide the truth.

When dad drank he beat my mom. Then she started drinking with him. I went all the bars with them. I slept on bar room tables, slept in dads car on the street, that was a big secret.  The people in the bars were nice,but I was always on stage so to speak, read this honey , go sing with the juke box.  The secret continued for a long time.

One of the bar owners was a  Christian Scientist.  He and his wife always had bible based coloring books for me. Paula was the wife, they owned the Elm Bar on Dry Harbor RD in Middle Village.  For every holiday there were more stories.

Then our new landlord Marty Emmrich and his wife Jeannette provided more bible based background for me.   Marty was dads drinking buddy. He and his wife were like aunt and uncle to me.  Love them and their kids.  Both have passed along with Martin jr.   Jeannette took me to church with her kids at Trinity Lutheran in Middle Village. We lived there for 5 yrs plus . That made a profound change in my life.

We stayed in contact up until Jeanette passed away .  I miss her very much.  She will never know what a change she made in my life.      I will never forget her.

I mention all this so that you know that change occurs sometimes slowly sometimes quickly. Change does occur despite our desire to remain the same.

Maybe the change will  be like those leaves floating softly to the ground. Just maybe the melting snow in my life will allow the beauty of flowers and love to blossom again…………Maybe… there is hope yet….

With love and hope

grammasrunamuck

this link reminds me of change…..

I know  its the wrong spelling, but very appropriate.   Weight and wait both sound alike .   Both create obstacles for us.  Yet, they both can be overcome.

I have weight issues and am finally working on them no more waiting around for the right time.

I am relearning how to change my eating patterns.  Eet Metabolicmemory  on FB  has let me become aware that the time of day does    make a big difference in what,how much,why and where I eat.

When I was working I had to fit food around the needs of the company I worked for. Worked weird hrs for many years. That was detrimental to my health.

I also had to change my sleep pattern that also was not good for me. It was essential to work, but I wish that I could have changed the hrs and the times I had to eat and sleep.

Over 20 yrs of bad timing of meals, lack of sleep , stress, all are bad for anyone.   It is clear I need to come to terms with that.  I am working on it.

I am surrounding myself with wonderful people, some nearby ,some only a phone call away.   We all have to help each other learn to get healthy,to love each other and ourselves.  I am learning every day something new.

Today and yesterday I have been shown by Joyce Meyer   on http://www.joycemeyer.org   that   what I say is self prophecy.  Instead of me saying  I can not, or I have to wait…aha  that wait again change must happen.   I must change the words to be positive,  I will be happy, I will conquer the numbers on the scale, I can instead of can’t   will instead of won’t,  and I want instead of maybe if.

How many of us do that?  I bet there are a lot of folks just like me, who put others first, then forget what fun is, forget what it is to be , just be.

I am working hard on trying to find out who I am   ,I thank God for each of you.

grammasrunamuck

Sorry have not been on , have had a lot of back pain.

I am working on getting me healthy.  I would love to know what you are all doing to get healthy too.

I spoke to Jon Pearlstone  aka  eet metabolicmemory yesterday. We are making some adjustments to my ,meal plan. I  am going to try to drink more green and more cinnamon apple tea less sugar.

Need to really amp up the roughage.    I am stuck on plateau and not moving as much. I am guilty of having diet soda. Yes  Jon let me know that can inhibit me from losing.

I am happy I am not gaining. Yes  that is huge.  Being immobile for the most part, going through the holidays…Yay that is great for me.

I am going to add more steamed veggies to my diet  love veggies, love em best slightly aldente’   do not need anything on em, but Jon has suggested that I use Kraft very low fat  ranch. To say that I could get bored with the same old stuff is true.  I do like the dressing, it is different. also like the diet wishbone, very low calories in that too.   I know now that I have to look at the preservatives in them, they can make us hold water too.

I am going to filter my water since on a water softener that is salt based.  It should have to remove the salt too imho.   Anyone with hypertension has to watch salt.  Salt is in everything. We have to drink a lot of water to flush it out.  I am going to be adding celery chopped to salads, soup etc, not only is it low calorie but it is one veggie that burns more calories than are in it. It stimulates our body furnace to burn calories.  Even the celery seeds help us all burn calories   Yay.  So tuna with celery, chicken,fish and celery, sounds like a plan right?  Right

Now with Jon’s plan  http://www.eetfit.com   You have your heavy meals early in the day, lighter as you go, lightest is dinner, and yes you have the ability to use any   weight watchers, nutrisystem, oa, beachbody,isagenix,visalus, TSFL, or  any diet that you desire.       So that makes it easy for all of us.

If this can work for me you can do it to. I do not feel  starved,denied infact I feel more satisfied.

I know we can do this together if we try. So help each other support each other.  It does not matter if you have wls  ,follow mm and the drama or not.   Just be there for each other. Be kind.

grammasrunamuck

I thank Michelle  for her lovely letter and notes.  Michelle you are a lovely lady.

Shana ,I thank you also for your note. It was also well voiced, thought out.

I hope to get to know you both.  Sometimes through odd situations we meet wonderful people.

 

To all the people who have read the blog and are curious, I am just a person trying to improve myself , and help others.

I am blessed by you all.

Hugs,

grammasrunamuck

 


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