grammasrunamuck

Posts Tagged ‘life

Today my mother in law  Doris Irene Egel Scholl was laid to eternal rest.  

A good woman who blessed me by having my  husband and being his mom. 

My kids will miss her , though they did not see her much.  Living in the  southern Adirondack Foothills is far away from the big Apple.  

What she did in life will carry through in her grandchildren.   Her dtr Veronica  has 4 girls all grown some with kids of their own.    Her son Thomas  has 2 a boy and a girl   . Both of them have children, Frank and I had 2 of our own a boy and a girl 

Now if you look at those kids all grown with their own kids  who will remember their great grandma    and tell their kids about her .  Each one will have their own story. Each their own experience.  

  I wish that  I were with them all now.    I did  not attend the services.  I  thought it best to stay home and avoid the heat and effects of asthma.   

I have seen photos  my son sent of them having a remembrance meal  with the family and am happy they went.    It is important to show love and affection to your family and those who are close friends. 

History shows us that if we do not talk about our lives together  we will forget or be forgotten.   Family is so very important to me.  I do not have to  kiss fannies, nor bow down to anyone but God.  I do  , however,  believe that there are times to forgive and forget.

When we forgive someone we give our self a gift.   We also give that person a second or third or fourth chance.     I rather like  getting gifts.    I love giving gifts.  I love sharing love with others. 

I know life is short.  The days go by so fast. Time on earth is short.  Love the life you are living.

Of course we all have difficulties  , things we would rather forget.  I hope that  I can forgive myself for my mistakes  and am trying.   I find its easier to forgive others than to forgive me. Yes that is a flaw.    I am aware I am flawed. I am aware that I may not be perfect  . Oh heck I know I am not perfect but   try not to look too hard at myself in fear I may find more that I can not handle.

I do not know how many of you look at life in retrospect yet.  I know that as each person  enters or leaves this world and my life   huge changes happen.

It may not seem huge to you.  It does to me.   Family and friends are everything on earth.   We go through this world meeting and saying goodbye so often.  

Every time a child is born it is a gift.  Each life is a gift .   Open that gift gently. Open it with love ,hope and warmth.  Add in some sweetness and salt   as life needs spice.   Do things with love as love is the reason we are here.

Remember life is short    Take it one step at a time,  Take deep breaths, Enjoy each second. Make life worth your time. Share your life with those you love and those who you do not like or know.  It will make life full and happy…  

Now go life is calling you….

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weighed in today  down 3 lbs.

Son asks so” mom when are you going to have the gastric bypass surgery. I do not want to have to see you on the floor and not be able to get up again. I have lost 3 l bs of water  he says . no big deal…its good but everyone loses weight like that.  ”

I am sad now tearfully that my son thinking I will die, but I am not sure on the surgery at all.  It is invasive. It will require the healing process, etc and the same willpower used in diet.  I believe I can do it myself. I know I can, I really do.

I have been through so much pain and hurt I do not want to have more. I just want to do something happy for a change.

I have not had a vacation in 30 yrs or more.  I need to feel like a normal woman, be able to do the things I want ,when I want.

I heard my sons concern, and yet he kids about it , and I know over the last few days my body is not feeling that surgery is right, even though the surgeon at Ellis Bariatric Medicine, thinks it will be successful.

I have to decide soon.  Or not. I have to and want to get thin, be attractive to men.

Ha men. Now that is another story. Been hurt before, and may never be trusting again.   Who knows.   The truth is I am young and want to wear a sexy bathing suit, feel good about me.

I have been walking more in the stores when I go.  Slowly but surely.  I am very upset with me.

I am just wondering if the cpap machine will change any thing .

So for today for now I will see how it goes.

Love you all,

grammasrunamuck  Patti

Hi friends, have not blogged in a while and I have missed it.

My friend Holly  has been telling me to start writing again, I guess she is right.   It feels great to write about my day, reminds me of what I am responsible to me for.

I have learned that by shutting myself down,or off it  diminishes me when I do not stretch my wings,and mind.

The truth is I am 407 lbs  down over the months and now am deciding I need to reevaluate my attitudes.

Some of them are positive other not very positive.  When it comes to defending my friends, our nation, and family  that is Positive with a capital P.   When it comes to myself, I pay little attention to what I want or need.

Now after seeing a bariatric surgeon at  Ellis Hospital,I am again unsure about the surgery.  The surgeon and the practice are amazing, kind and loving.  As for having the surgery the dr suggested it is important for me to have it. I know the hazards and think if dire necessity pervades the one I would choose is the sleeve.

I have been very lax with everything and still lost 8lbs .

So today I started to do what is good for me.

I hope you all will be beside me as I try.

grammasrunamuck,

patti


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