grammasrunamuck

Posts Tagged ‘joy

This past week   I lost one of my dearest friends  Dolores Mader of Walkill NY>

We met in Queens  when we were members of a volunteer   ambulance corps.   It was the most wonderful experience in my life. Giving help to those who needed help.  It was one experience that changed me for the better.

When you volunteer and help others    you do not realize  the experience  brings you full circle to the spot where  you begin.

When you do this you  make friends  with the most amazing, loving,  gifted  people  that God has given you.  These people will move heaven hell and earth, for you.   They will be your friend , confidant, mom,dad,sister or brother.

Dolores was that  for me.  She and her husband Paul Mader and kids will forever be family to me.

We had both just had miscarriages when we got really close.    Dolores would be the driver  and I the emt.  We would be on call while the kids were in school.  We had shared our lives and most private moments and thoughts.

I could never ask for a better friend.      I could never ask for anyone more loyal and trustworthy.

For many years Dolores served at her church, and many other organizations.

Now God called her home.

She  battled cancer for four years.      She is now victorious over  life.   God has her with him.   I know she is looking down on  her family today.

Paul and his family are  so brave    Becca their youngest daughter is getting married today to Dan .  Mom will watch from Heaven.

Her body is earthbound   Her soul is with them.  She is free  now  to praise God, be healthy and happy with Him.

God is so good.   He  BRINGS   people together for a reason.

It seems  Dolores taught me a lot.   Real Love, Hope,Joy.     Those gifts will be with me forever.

I pray that   each of you   take that friendship  when offered  .   It is  a Gift  you do  Not want to miss…..   Patti,  aka  grammasrunamuck

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I remember so many things that have left  us  for parts unknown.  

It almost seems that good manners, is the biggest.  How can we show respect for others if we do not know how to be kind and use good manners?      Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

It seems that I hold the door for others, very few reciprocate or say thank you.

For some people   I think they either are very uneducated,  shy,  or are just  ignorant of the courtesy we should show each other.  

I would not like to think they  choose not to say a simple thank you.   For me its not a big deal.

A good representation of this happened to a member of my family today.   Shopping at a local department store   some person reached into her basket and helped themselves to items in her basket.   Then to top it off another woman   grabbed 2 2qt pitchers   and walked away.  Now of  course she was astonished.   She put her hand over her items and said these are my   items.  

One almost wonders  were they on  candid camera.     I have no explanation for this.  It seems people are totally engrossed in their own desires.

I was at the store the other day, a shopper behind me had 2 items.   The shopper in front of me had 300.00 dollars worth of shopping.   I offered the person behind me to go ahead.  One would do that  for others …I would think.       Next to us a new line opened.  What a flurry of people  running to the newly opened register.

Good heavens  it is not a  wild party, nor is it free money.   Why not give the next guy a break.   

Has life gotten to the point that  we must  be the one taken care of NOW?      I just do not see it that way.

I have seen people cut me off for a spot, give me the finger,and cuss me out when I was waiting for a spot blinker on  being patient.

There have been times  that I would get upset  and argue.  Now  its just not any challenge.

I find it more challenging to be nice, let them have a break,and to just let it be

My husband rest his soul   taught me that.    I was that nervous woman fighting the  behavior  not having peace.    He never let it bother him.

Other things did bother him.  He was very quiet, the opposite of this wild woman.    

I am firmly the type that has to fix things.   

Now as I look around I realize that things are not easily fixed if you let them frustrate you.

I see now that the joy of life can be sucked out of you by an employer, fellow employee, a relative, neighbor , friend or acquaintance if you let them.

I have learned that the way things were when I was a kid  have changed.   It is not  the Happy Days.  It is not Mayberry.  It is not  I love Lucy either.  The days of those shows and  Bachelor Father, My Little Margie, Hazel, Lassie and all the rest  are still in my heart and my head.

They and church and my parents shaped me.  I choose  to be the  Hazel type.   I choose to want the life in Mayberry.

Yes call me a dreamer.  The days of the Beverly Hillbillies,  Oh Susanna, Petticoat Junction each taught me something .  

They taught me to love my neighbors, lean on them, and laugh.   Those shows  taught me fairness.  

As a kid we played  in Queens .We were out   on the sidewalks in parks ,back yards  and  being nice was easier.

As a kid we were handed a bar of soap   told go out  play in the rain by our moms.  Yes Middle Village Queens was a lot of fun.  The schoolyard was where we played on weekends after homework.

Yes  we did our homework and did not talk back.   If you did get into trouble someone’s mom or dad was there to help or correct you.  If you got corrected by someone else mom and dad found out and you would catch it again.  We learned manners, good behavior by example .   

Sometimes it was a scout leader,sunday school teacher, school teacher or neighbor doing the teaching. 

In any event you learned. 

Today it seems that the young adults do not learn,   they do insane things, hurt each other and themselves. It seems there are no rules.  Kids need rules.  

Stop letting little kids talk back, get into booze, run wild and  be rude.   It is high time that they learn   from shows like Davey and Goliath, Mayberry Rfd, Lassie, The Lone Ranger, and the old cartoons.

Now its   the new cartoons full of sex and violence parents let them watch.    Those are not cartoons for children nor adults either.

So yes   they were the days    my friend I thought they would never end…..  to quote a favorite song.

You can recreate those days  make life special for kids and yes even you….

Just do it keep up the good in the world……… for me

I am reviewing my life today.

I do not do enough fun things. I tend to become engulfed in the needs of others.    I tend to push myself aside. I watch tv, I moderate kids fights, pet the dog, and basically ignore myself. I need to change that.   In fact  I am starting  with straightening the house to my liking,  I feel happier when the house is cleaner, prettier and the time is now to work on that. 

I am also working on me.  I am not finished yet.  God has a plan, I wish I knew what it was but I like surprises.

Hmm you say.   Yes truth be told I  am one of those folks who will bend over backwards to meet the needs of others.  ” Why”?    

I have always been the caretaker.  I think you are born that way.  I want to fix things, relieve pain and sorrow.  I want to make the world better, my family and friends happy, even acquaintances fit into the scope of those I care about.

Yes strangers are not strangers for long.    I am that one who would bring home a lost soul and have.   Yep  thats me.

Know what I have gotten from it?   LOVE.  Joy   , hope, kindness and the knowledge that I can make a difference even if its only a small thing.

Giving makes me happy .  Have you ever done  an RAOK.   Random Acts of Kindness are the best. I get giddy.   I have told someone when I did it not out of glory seeking  but out of my outrageous joy unbridled at doing something nice.

My mom always told me stop being so nice you will get hurt.  Yes she was right.   Dad always was nice to the wrong people.   He was well liked  but when he got sick and passed away where were they.?

I do not do good things to kiss up.  I do not do them to be remembered. I do them to make me happy.    Happy !   

I can not explain to you how good it feels when you make someone who is sad  happy.  

I can not explain all the ambulance rides  I gave  with patients who felt unhappy , sad, lost and alone. I do not want anyone to feel alone.   I want to help people know they are special and loved and give them hope. 

For a long time all I did was volunteer  now I can not do that anymore.   I wish I could.  I do know that by sharing Hope, Joy,Peace , Love and my Faith   maybe I can change the world a little.  Who does not want to change the world?   We can do it together   a little at a time.   

Live a life of simple joys. Bring your family and friends closer. Color in a coloring book, Take a bubble bath .  Blow bubbles, run your toes in the sand, do whatever makes you happy.

Simple joys cost nothing.   A smile, a hug, an offer to  help someone, be there to comfort someone and do something for you

Live a life of simple joys…..  .

Today my mother in law  Doris Irene Egel Scholl was laid to eternal rest.  

A good woman who blessed me by having my  husband and being his mom. 

My kids will miss her , though they did not see her much.  Living in the  southern Adirondack Foothills is far away from the big Apple.  

What she did in life will carry through in her grandchildren.   Her dtr Veronica  has 4 girls all grown some with kids of their own.    Her son Thomas  has 2 a boy and a girl   . Both of them have children, Frank and I had 2 of our own a boy and a girl 

Now if you look at those kids all grown with their own kids  who will remember their great grandma    and tell their kids about her .  Each one will have their own story. Each their own experience.  

  I wish that  I were with them all now.    I did  not attend the services.  I  thought it best to stay home and avoid the heat and effects of asthma.   

I have seen photos  my son sent of them having a remembrance meal  with the family and am happy they went.    It is important to show love and affection to your family and those who are close friends. 

History shows us that if we do not talk about our lives together  we will forget or be forgotten.   Family is so very important to me.  I do not have to  kiss fannies, nor bow down to anyone but God.  I do  , however,  believe that there are times to forgive and forget.

When we forgive someone we give our self a gift.   We also give that person a second or third or fourth chance.     I rather like  getting gifts.    I love giving gifts.  I love sharing love with others. 

I know life is short.  The days go by so fast. Time on earth is short.  Love the life you are living.

Of course we all have difficulties  , things we would rather forget.  I hope that  I can forgive myself for my mistakes  and am trying.   I find its easier to forgive others than to forgive me. Yes that is a flaw.    I am aware I am flawed. I am aware that I may not be perfect  . Oh heck I know I am not perfect but   try not to look too hard at myself in fear I may find more that I can not handle.

I do not know how many of you look at life in retrospect yet.  I know that as each person  enters or leaves this world and my life   huge changes happen.

It may not seem huge to you.  It does to me.   Family and friends are everything on earth.   We go through this world meeting and saying goodbye so often.  

Every time a child is born it is a gift.  Each life is a gift .   Open that gift gently. Open it with love ,hope and warmth.  Add in some sweetness and salt   as life needs spice.   Do things with love as love is the reason we are here.

Remember life is short    Take it one step at a time,  Take deep breaths, Enjoy each second. Make life worth your time. Share your life with those you love and those who you do not like or know.  It will make life full and happy…  

Now go life is calling you….

Hope is one of those things that describes the way people go blindly into situations they normally would not  .  

Hope is the one thing that keeps me going.  I know that God is my hope my path to heaven.

I know that without hope and or God there is nothing for the human spirit to lean on.

I know that Hope is like Love .  They both need nurturing,trials errors and growth.

In order to survive in this world we need both Hope and Love.  You can have on or the other ,but then you feel incomplete. 

You know you can be loved or be in love  but, without love and hope combined there is not a bit of strength to deal with life.

In this world we need Hope. In this world we need Love.  We need them more than anything now.

Times are hard enough without the incessant changes in politics, world almost at point of destruction, sickness, loneliness, sadness. 

We have to have the Hope that we can overcome all of those. For me  knowing God has my back is very important to me. 

I am an only child.  Not such a good thing. 

No one is there for you .  Most people used to have cousins close by.   My cousins are all far away.  

So  for me  it helped me know   that with God  I  even me… can do something good. 

When I am afraid of things   I either back off from it    or   dive in and be the super friendly  overly trusting type.  

Some folks do not like that.  Well they are the losers. 

When you meet a person  who has hope  its like opening a big GIFT.     Open slowly is my advice.  You do not want to waste any of the hope that is in that gift.    You want to grab it and hold on for dear life.  You want to learn how to hope, love and trust. 

  To be  near a person with Hope  can be contagious.  In fact, I hope  that you  do get close to those with Hope.  They dream, glimmer, shine and become euphoric  at the thought of joy  .

Outrageous you say?  Well   to me its outrageous that some folks have no hope, no faith, love or joy in their lives. 

I want to wish you all Hope, Joy,Love,Trust,Faith in all you do or endeavor to be. I want to wish you hugs , puppy kisses, crayolas and paper  , chalk on a sidewalk, paint on the walls,ceilings, floors and furniture.  Each of those  cries out hope. 

Hope for the future   ,the family, life,  and the  world   is within you.

Change begets change.Much like leaves falling softly from the trees in fall ,just floating down mysteriously creating a carpet on the earth. The carpet prepares the ground and plants to survive the cold winter and snow. It magically nurtures and nourishes the earth, allowing the glorious flowers to make their awakening in spring after the harsh winter has gone. It creates a symphony of color in autumn, a white and frosty sparkling blanket over creation ,evolving into the effervescent explosion of color of spring and blooms of summer.

Our lives are full of change. We meet new people, grow and change. We all change ,we grow and change . It is an evolution in our personal lives, careers,and our spirits.

I have to admit my weight loss journey , or experience has changed me.  I have learned about my own body, learned that I am important. I have learned that how others see me is not necessarily the right view of me. It has become unceasingly apparent to me that I am more than this body which is changing.

I  am a woman with intellect, character ,sense of humor and great faith.  I did not get to be the woman I am by being alone. I learn from each of those I come in contact with.

Some have taught me that no matter how cruel they are, I am still a good person. Some have taught me that I can succeed at helping others, that my instincts are really good when it comes to knowing what to do in an emergency. Many have taught me that the love I give I get back ten fold.

In fact, so many of you have changed the way I look at myself.  As a kid I was told be quiet, did I no…  As a child I was taught that children should be seen and not heard, that they should never talk back, that children are the property of the parent in some respect.  That was garbage.  I always would tell people what was on my heart.

A funny thing kids will tell you the truth, of course unless they think they will be punished for it.   I was with my parents at a food store   A&P  one day when I was little.  It was in Middle Village NY. I was 3 or so.   I looked at the cashier who was making small talk with mom and dad.  She asked me how I was , my reply “My daddy gets drunk”  .  The lady in her smock  had a funny look on her face  did not know what to say. Mom wanted to crawl in a hole, dad embarassed laughed.

For some reason I have always been like this. It took a lot of cautioning me not to do that again, to learn to keep secrets.   That was a big change in me.   Not the best change but a change. It is never good to hide the truth.

When dad drank he beat my mom. Then she started drinking with him. I went all the bars with them. I slept on bar room tables, slept in dads car on the street, that was a big secret.  The people in the bars were nice,but I was always on stage so to speak, read this honey , go sing with the juke box.  The secret continued for a long time.

One of the bar owners was a  Christian Scientist.  He and his wife always had bible based coloring books for me. Paula was the wife, they owned the Elm Bar on Dry Harbor RD in Middle Village.  For every holiday there were more stories.

Then our new landlord Marty Emmrich and his wife Jeannette provided more bible based background for me.   Marty was dads drinking buddy. He and his wife were like aunt and uncle to me.  Love them and their kids.  Both have passed along with Martin jr.   Jeannette took me to church with her kids at Trinity Lutheran in Middle Village. We lived there for 5 yrs plus . That made a profound change in my life.

We stayed in contact up until Jeanette passed away .  I miss her very much.  She will never know what a change she made in my life.      I will never forget her.

I mention all this so that you know that change occurs sometimes slowly sometimes quickly. Change does occur despite our desire to remain the same.

Maybe the change will  be like those leaves floating softly to the ground. Just maybe the melting snow in my life will allow the beauty of flowers and love to blossom again…………Maybe… there is hope yet….

With love and hope

grammasrunamuck

this link reminds me of change…..

Why is it when we trust our hearts to someone , they let us down?   I do not understand why it has to be this way.

Have you ever really loved someone, yet knew they would leave you? Have you known that at one time or another you would have to walk away ? Well I know that many of us go through this whether we want to admit it or not.

Sometimes our friends grow apart from us, find a different path. When this happens no matter how much it hurts, we have to push them out of the nest and do what is right for them and us.  How hard it must be for the momma bird to be the one pushing the baby out of the nest.  They have been in that nest together more than mom and baby , one depending on the other for their life.

That is how friendship is too.  When you share your life with a friend, you open your heart and secrets to that person. You bare your soul,open your vulnerable spots to them. You become the one they run to when they need you.

They become your solace in the storm of life.  Together you believe you can conquer the world.  You share the giggles, the joys,sorrows,and fears.  You lean on each other. You hold each other.

You find yourself thinking of that friend when you do not hear from them.  You worry a little, and hope that despite all the daily strife, stress that you hope you did not push them away.

Sometimes you just pray that God protects them and keeps them safe whether they want to be with you or not.   And all the time you pray, you thank God for that friend.

Life is a journey from birth to death.  The road is bumpy,rocky,muddy at times icey.   Even with this road meandering ,bending, tearing at your heart, you want the best for the friend.  As you travel down the road  with that friend or alone  you find yourself  thanking God for them.

When you part ways and we all do reluctant or not remember the joy,hope,smiles they brought you. Remember the happy moments the way they made you feel, thank them and thank God for them.

With love,

grammasrunamuck

 


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