Archive for December 2010

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ೋ ❤❤❤~~Happy New Year 2011~~❤❤❤ ೋ
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❤♫❤♫❤.•*¨`*•..¸☼ ¸.•*¨`*•.♫❤♫❤♫❤.

Today is the end of a year. Tonight will be the beginning of the rest of my life and yours.

I have learned that by timing when I eat not letting myself get hungry , and eating better that I can lose weight and keep it off.

I have been doing a modified atkins, and found that by following Jon Pearlstone    Eet MetabolicMemory    on fb  and  his site,that I have lost 50 lbs, as of today kept off 48 .  I am on a plateau, but I know once I start to really start moving, and following the plan more carefully that will change.

I start in the morning  with coffee, about two hrs later coffee , breakfast  then pills.    Tea, my fav is cinnamon apple, or green tea is recommended between meals.  Lunch is about 3 hrs later,  I get to have pretty much what I want, but usually go for protein, and salad if i have it in house.  Dinner is lighter,   with the 2 earlier meals  being the heavier.    Protein for me is big, chicken or turkey maybe beef.     I do get to have snacks and  Jon says have what you want.

I have tried every diet available.  This is easier than any.   I have tried to use hi protein shakes when I was preparing for weight loss surgery.  I would have had that surgery if they did not close the program.   I like the idea of eggs for breakfast, turkey bacon, or ham easy on the fats.   We do need fats in our diet. Our body needs it to metabolize foods and break down proteins to some extent.  I do not have it like I used to.   I want to be healthy, and my body needs oils and fats, so I use them sparingly, and allow myself no guilt. Our body is complicated. We have to feed it , good food, drink water, and exercise.

I have corrupted my grandson  now.  I use solid white tuna in water, now he does not want any other tuna unless fresh.  Kids like the salad and glom ,yes glom  grammas goodies.  Hooray. Good stuff.

Now I have learned that its ok to have blueberries, strawberries, both good for us and what a treat.   I do need to get more in the house they disappear faster than I can find em…Yes the munchkins are at it.

So tonight ,there will not be  a party, but I am going to have chocolate ice cream. A treat  no guilt  a once a week thing or not  depending.  I have enjoyed a cup of hot cocoa the new swiss miss milk chocolate tastes like my all time favorite   Carnation.

As long as I do not feel deprived I am enjoying it. I know I have less than I used to of everything,because I get full.  Weird I did not know what full was.  Never felt stuffed.  Now I get satisfied if not full.  Big changes.

Lately I have not been really on program.   My back injury has just made me feel crummy. No excuses just a fact. My gift to me is going to be continuing this plan, and improving on me.  Between the steroidal cremes, etc I am holding some water, and not drinking enough ,but I am aware now and doing something about it.

I am also being nicer to me. I used to feel guilty about every bite I take, or if someone did not like me or what I said I felt bad really bad.  Now not so.  I used to put everyone before me. I  was taught to do that. I also fully got the story of the Samaritan from the Bible and it taught me a lot.

Some people will think I am judgemental, or other things. They do not matter any more.    This I am adding just because I am measuring my own growth.

You all have been blessings to me ,each in your own way  and I love you .

Happiest of New Years to you all,



Today is a good day to start anew.  I am going to have a good day.  I hope you will too.

Today the goal is to  simple.  Drink More water, drink lots more water.

I had one cup of coffee already and am really ready for a second cup now.

A big warm cup of coffee, snuggle with a blanky for a few then it will be  vacuum, dust pick up after kiddos, sort laundry  .  Yep  a cup of coffee before tackling that.

I think it is time to let go of a lot of collectibles too.  Simply  simplify.

I want to continue the losing weight so maybe time to shed the stuff that may be holding me back from doing things in a new way.  I am one of those folks who saves things. I have a collection of Fenton colonial blue glassware from the 60s on.  Do I need it ?  No.  Why do I have it?

I bought it because of a few things. The deep ocean blue strikes a part of my soul. Next  it was made in West Virginia, my dad’s home state. Third , it is beautiful,and fourth made me happy .  I have pleasant memories of going to the Fenton factory seeing the glass blown,created and the touch of that glass. The smooth,cool,silky feel of  this glass is different.

Now that I am changing the memory will still be there, but I do not have to have the fancy glass anymore. I need to have more time to do the fun things.  I used to enjoy washing the glass  and looking at it shimmer in  the sun.  The light playing on that glass is reminiscent of water glimmering in moonlight.

So packing up the glassware storing it until I can get a fair price on Ebay, or maybe that will not happen. Who cares.    The glassware made me happy once. No  not important.  My point of reference on important to me has changed.

It seems this is the time of year to reevaluate our life.  For me this is time to leave the old behind and go forward.

It is almost 4 yrs ago my husband died .   I miss him very much.  Now I need to dig myself out of the comfy maybe not so good for me  spot I have been hiding myself in.

Many people withdraw and protect themselves when a spouse dies.  I did , and for me it was a triple whammy. My mom died 7 mos before he did, then all 3 of my dogs had to be put down.    Total loss  of my support structure  .

I am working through this now.  I have been focused on helping my kids and grandkids  so much that I did not pay attention to me.

So here is my message.   Love deeply, kindly, without expectation of reciprocation.Do not worry about pleasing anyone.    You will feel so much better without  worrying about   who you please or don’t  .

Enjoy your life, trust more, give more,love more and be more.  I promise you are worth it.  I learned that  I am worth it too.

Happy New Year!



Today I learned a lot. I learned that some think I am a hate mongering , anti, everything kind of girl. I learned that via an email.   Funny they all seem to be friends of a certain woman.  The fact that they both are friends of hers means I have struck a nerve.

Well to the former friend of mine. I wish you well. I do not have to listen to vile words, and or accusations.  I am just going to do what is expected of me.  I am going to let go and let God.  I will not expect to have you think of me well. You have judged me wrongly, according to the set of your rules.  That is o.k.  I will still be kind to you and still turn my cheek as that is what I am supposed to do.  I did block you as you made it clear what your feelings are and that  you wanted no contact.   I will not attack you  in any forum.   In fact I am not upset in the least. I thank you for all you taught me.

As for the other attacker aka stalker, what ever you wish to be called.  I will not post anything you write here any longer,it just encourages you to  participate in slap and tickle.   You say you are a professional writer, well considering the attitude you have shown and lack of restraint in your emails to me. I doubt that very much.

It does appear that every word I write will be criticized and taken out of context.  For those people  again I say  I am not attacking you , I am not going to your blogs, and I really do not give one iota of respect to you any longer.

While I am able to make people angry easily that is not my wish.

I do not want to cause a ruckus, I may be wrong sometimes, but I do not try to make them mad. I will also admit my own faults. When I state an opinion, for some reason people think that is the final word. No it is not.

The final word is that of our Father.

When I say enough, and I wish you blessing it means that truly. I do not wish anyone harm.

I have decided that for my own health and sanity that those who do not like me or my opinions can choose their own path in life. I will not be a part of it. That is fine and dandy. All the world’s people are different. I do not know of any pure people.   God made us all.    We are all His children.

I know the written word does not include the complete feeling of the writer, and I am not going to get into  the fights or semantics.   So that is what I learned so far.  I DO NOT HAVE TO ANSWER BACK.  (whooee)   I learned something.   No guilt.  That is a lot for me.   Usually I would feel terrible. Now its ok. Had my guilt for a minute then it was gone. I learned that learning and  growth  are both good..Growth is good.  Very good.

I have also learned that by blogging and speaking my mind that I see the humanity of others.  I will learn not to put me last. I count.  That is a big thing for me. BIG.

So now  learning and growing  with the help of my friends,I thank you all for the love and support.


I pray that each of you spends this holiday contemplating your blessings, hopes,joys, and desires.

I ask that each of you pray for those in need of the basics,love,housing,food,the knowledge that they are loved.

So many people feel unloved , or worthless,  Pray for them , help  them whether by thought ,word or deed.  Each of us can make a difference.

God I ask for the protection of our troops. Let our leaders realize that they are people too. Let them be freed from Leavenworth, and honored not punished for following not just orders, but for protecting themselves and us.   Guide and protect those in dangers way.   Honor to those who have given me and you the life we have.   Joy to those who are sad. Hope to all.   Glory to God in the highest.

Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah,    Peace on earth



Hi everyone, its 2 days til Christmas.    Yay!

Today the kids are all here, school is out, kids excited . I  am thinking  wow so much to do yet. My back has been out a couple of weeks now.

Sciatica is not fun. This is the worst attack I have had since the car accident that damaged my neck and back.  Yet, I am still hopeful that by reducing my weight the pain will diminish.


I am looking at the Christmas tree thinking that over the years I have collected so many ornaments . I have given 2/3 away  to my kids that I saved for them and still have a bunch.

It still amazes me that there are this many.  Yes, I have my moms and love them dearly.  I am remembering all the times as a kid we decorated the tree.

Some of those were teeny tiny little trees we bought at the A &P  or Bohack’s grocery stores  in Queens, N.Y.   Those little trees mirrored our apartments.  We lived in basement apartments at times, others in Middle Village in 2 rooms.  We did not have tons of things, but I cherish those days.

Those trees to me were amazing. We would decorate them with the tiny ornaments, and I remember they were sprayed to prevent fires. They had bits of flocking on them like snow. Mom would put the lights on after much testing and frustration,it usually meant a trip to the avenue.

We would go buy new light bulbs, since they were so fragile.  I loved the look of the German Bubble lights.  Mom said she had them when she was little.  She loved those lights, and the star on the tree. It lit up the star of Bethlehem.  It was white and silver with sparkles on it and backlit by one white bulb.  Made of plastic, surrounded with a reflector of cardboard covered in foil in the shape mimicking that star.

That star meant a lot to mom and so did the ornaments.  They were the one stable thing in her life.  Mom grew up ,a child from a broken home.  Her parents divorced,she was shoved from home to home, wound up with her German grandpa Reuss, and her dad. Her mom and her family very English and proper were too busy to be there for her or her brother.  If not for mom’s grandpa and aunt Lulu, she would not have had any stability.

Times were hard in the depression. Mom spoke of an orange as a gift, a potato roasted in the streets for a nickel, called a Mickey.  It was a treat to go to the movie theater.  Movies were a way to escape the pain in people’s lives.  Church was a place to gain comfort,knowledge and love.

Families were hard  pressed to make ends meet. More often there were 3 generations living in an apt together.  Somehow they managed. Clothes bought at the local stores on the Avenue   were rare indeed. It was pass down the shoes,clothes even though they did not fit right.

This was a real shock to my grandmother Florence.  Her family lived in a mansion on Bushwick avenue.  I think that had a lot to do with the breakup of her marriage.

My grandpa George was a hard working handsome man. His mother and father emigrated from Germany.  Hard working people. Family always was very important to them.  When his mom died  the younger sister lived with the oldest sister and her husband. They hung in there for the long haul. Struggled fought like all families.

I can see the correlation between what the families of the depression went through and what the people of today are experiencing.

I am very thoughtful today, missing my husband,mom,dad,grandparents,and friends who have passed .

I am thinking of the families without homes,food ,lonely, without the basics.

Please pray for them won’t you?

I hope you all have a blessed day and weekend.  Enjoy all you have, relish the memories, share your blessings.

Thank you for sharing with me.


I thank Michelle  for her lovely letter and notes.  Michelle you are a lovely lady.

Shana ,I thank you also for your note. It was also well voiced, thought out.

I hope to get to know you both.  Sometimes through odd situations we meet wonderful people.


To all the people who have read the blog and are curious, I am just a person trying to improve myself , and help others.

I am blessed by you all.




From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls that are destined to be together find each other, their streams of light flow together, and a single brighter light goes forth from their united being.
Have you ever noticed the streams of light through the clouds. I think of the escalator to heaven, and this.
Some churches have a candle lighting service as part of the wedding of two people.
Love is light. Love does not fail. Love is imperfect. Love exceeds all of mans desires. Love grows like seeds when tended with care. Love is gentle .Love is kind. Love does not judge.
I can keep going.  I believe in Love.  I can not help it.  I even believe that we are supposed to love our enemies.  Yes I do.
Sometimes love is a hard pill to swallow. Not all that we want or think that we want is good for us. Sometimes the person we love or think we love does not love us back. Sometimes that person dislikes us deeply. Sometimes love turns to hate.  That person may be a friend,a spouse, a love, a child, a stranger we have not any knowledge of.
Truth be told I can not think of anyone I hate.  I may not agree with the opinions or behavior of some, but they have the right to be who they are.
How many of us have a relative that we can not stand to be in the same building with? Some are so revolted they can not be in the same city.  Some will just ignore that person, others will antagonize them. Some will do all they can to poison the minds of people they know ,family,friends,and acquaintances.
How many of us have walked into a store or restaurant and just had that awful feeling of  nasty.  Yes hate does change the atmosphere.  Love changes the atmosphere too.
Have you ever just felt that warm fuzzy feeling?   Know that when you meet someone for the first time that there is something really special about them?   Look into their eyes and there is a sparkle, a glimmer, twinkle or just something you can not fathom?
When that happens  you know you have been touched by something special.
Love is special, it touches your heart,your soul so deeply that you  are changed.
I know that feeling , I have felt it several times.  I also know that is  special, and worth remembering.
I hope that each of you find this feeling, remember it and embrace it.
There is nothing quite like it.
with love,



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